What S.e.x Was Like In Ancient Rome

What S.e.x Was Like In Ancient Rome

If one were to base knowledge of Roman history on film and television, it'd be easy to think the entire civilization was a giant "adult get-together" interrupted by the occasional gladiator match. But sexuality in ancient Rome was actually far more complicated than lustful parties. It played an important part in culture, as pleasure and a fundamental tenet of society. 

In many ways, Rome wasn't so different from today's world: It had "professionals" of various classes, there were same-gender relationships, and people really loved seeing depictions of "the act." 

But there was also a dark side.

The civilization's use of slavery meant millions were oppressed on a constant basis. Everyone from soldiers to political figures was responsible, as power extended far beyond dominion over slaves. 

Still, it's hard not to be impressed with the progressive outlook many Romans had regarding the subject. It was a view that would change drastically as the empire embraced Christianity and headed into the Middle Ages. Read on to learn how sexuality was viewed in ancient Rome, and pick up a few Roman sex facts to impress your friends. 

Sexual Assault Played A Major Role In Founding Rome

In most history books, there isn't much talk about Rome in the days before it became a republic. You could consider pre-republic Rome a nation of thugs. Because of their vast power, Romans expanded their territory (and numbers) by targeting neighboring city-states, and simply taking what they wanted, including people. One of the most infamous examples of this occurred in 750 BCE, after Romans decided they needed a population boost. 

They abducted and impregnated women from the neighboring Sabine tribes, and thus began the cultural melting pot that was Rome. 

Being Gay Was Cool, Being A Lesbian Was Not

In ancient Rome, men were completely free to have same-gender relations, but there were a few catches. First, the only way to do it openly (and not lose one's social standing) was to be the dominant partner in the relationship. In which case, you could freely engage with whomever you pleased, including slaves, working girls, even actors.

However, men and women were certainly not of equal standing in ancient Rome. Because of strict gender roles, Romans frowned upon women taking on any kind of dominant role in society. Thus, these kinds of acts between women typically involved a man as well, as the act of penetration was a symbol of power.

The Stoics Preferred Lovemaking For Social Stability

The Stoics of Rome didn't really like the idea of having relations for the sake of pleasure. To them, it was an act of affection that bonded people together and kept family units stable. According to Stoic philosophers, it was a natural, but unnecessary, desire. In their eyes, sexuality was to be approached with a clear, rational mind, so as not to cloud judgment or reason. 

The Stoics also emphasized the equality of all people, including slaves and women. Therefore, according to Stoics, "the deed" was not to infringe upon the freedom or will of an individual. 

Gladiators Performed In More Places Than The Arena

Outside of slaves, entertainers were the lowest rung of Roman society, and were occasionally treated as such. Since gladiators were, relatively speaking, top-tier entertainers of Rome, it's no surprise plenty of men and women wanted to indulge their desires by sleeping with the performers. Such lascivious dalliances included discreet encounters in which the wives of prominent figures paid to be pleasured by the champions of the arena. And, like any type of high-profile celebrity relationship, they were not without their scandals. 

Faustina, the wife of Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius, was supposedly so aroused by gladiators her husband consulted a soothsayer about the situation. This oracle suggested Faustina have relations with a gladiator (she did), that the gladiator in question be executed on top of her, and that she bathe in his blood to satisfy, and cleanse herself of, her lust (this happened). She then did it with Marcus Aurelius immediately afterward.

The Romans Helped Spread Kissing Throughout The World

According to an article in The Daily Beast, ancient Romans loved kissing, so much so that they spread the tradition throughout their empire, and, therefore, around the world. Kissing was such a big part of ancient Roman life it became codified in law and social custom, and Roman men reportedly developed an oral fixation - they were obsessed with how kissing was done, who should be kissed, and under what circumstances someone should be kissed.

Romans also kissed passionately in front of a large group of people as part of their wedding ceremony, a tradition that continues today. 

Inbreeding Was Relatively Common

While it wasn't particularly widespread (and was frowned upon), incest did exist in ancient Rome. Typically, those involved were ones who could get away with it, like powerful political figures.

One of the most famous myths of incest involves Nero, who was said to have had relations with his mother. However, this myth has been sufficiently busted.

Slaves Were Essentially Used For Pleasure

Sometimes the wife of a Roman man just wasn't in the mood, but he had other options. Roman men were allowed and even encouraged to engage in intercourse with their slaves.

 

Sexuality Was Really Fluid

Many couples in Rome didn't mind switching things up by bringing in different people. Gender didn't matter, so long as everyone was having fun and the family was stable when the deed was done.  Emperor Hadrian was known to engage in polysexual acts, unknown to his wife/second cousin Vibia Sabina. He eventually found a soul mate in a teenage boy named Antinous. 

Eventually, Sabina became unhappy, and Antinous disappeared. Full of grief, Hadrian declared Antinous a god and ordered his worship throughout the Empire.

There Were Divine Virgins

A cornerstone of faith during the pagan days of Rome, Vestal Virgins tended to the Temple of Vesta, goddess of the hearth. They were divine overseers of Rome's security under the eyes of the gods, and there were six of them at all times. Vestal Virgins were chosen when they were between 6 and 10 years old. They then served for 30 years, during which time they were to remain virgins. 

The virgins were off limits to all Roman men, but emperors often ignored such rules. Elagabalus, for instance, married a Vestal Virgin in an attempt to produce divine children. It didn't help his reputation. 

Soldiers Were Legally Permitted To Force Unwilling Partners

Assaulting a free-born woman in Rome could get you into a lot of trouble. But in the earlier days of Rome, you could do just about anything to a slave without anyone so much as batting an eye. When armies campaigned in foreign lands, soldiers were paid through plunder, which meant that in lieu of currency, they could claim anything found in conquered lands. This included precious metals, food, art, and people.

Those conquered by the Roman army were considered slaves, and soldiers were free to do whatever they wanted to them. During much of this time, soldiers sold slaves for a tidy profit. There were also mass attacks of prisoners. 

Some Emperors Were Total Deviants

When you wield enough power to do whatever you want, mostly without consequence, it can lead to some of the craziest, most depraved acts the human mind can conjure. 

Emperor Nero once turned a guy into a eunuch, then married him. Nero's reasoning? The guy looked just like Nero's late wife, whom Nero murdered while she was pregnant. Nero made his new eunuch bride dress in his wife's clothes. 

Caligula stole women away from their husbands, slept with his sisters (one of them well into adulthood, while he was emperor), hosted "adults-only parties," and indulged every lustful whim. 

The worst of these men was Emperor Tiberius, who made deviancy his life's mission. He indulged in pederasty, which was common for the time, but took it to a whole other level, preying on babies. 

Orgies Totally Happened, And They Weren't Always Safe

Rome is associated with wild parties, but they didn't quite happen the way everyone thinks. The richest of Romans loved throwing elaborate dinner parties to show off their culture and wealth, but it rarely devolved into a mass affair. Typically, these get-togethers were hosted by the more eccentric personalities in Rome's elite class, such as Caligula and Elagabalus.

The problem? These people were so insane that most had a hard time keeping the energy going, let alone getting into the mood in the first place.

Prostitution Was Totally Legal

The Romans were all about "the deed" in every form, so people selling themselves didn't really bother them. Most of the time, the workers were slaves or freed women. However, there were free-born, high-class, very beautiful courtesans active in Roman life.

In 40 CE, the state officially taxed the profession, which cemented it as a legitimate business. In fact, Emperor Augustus enacted laws that banned moral penalties on workers for their actions. So, while regular Romans had to adhere to a strict moral code under Augustus's reign, sex workers were free to do as they pleased.